


knight-masters

by dutchydoescoke



Series: fixed points [2]
Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 16:24:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15271497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dutchydoescoke/pseuds/dutchydoescoke
Summary: “I suppose I can read out in the practice courts,” he sighs, as over-dramatic as possible, and snaps the book shut before he gets up and locks his door. “I don’t know why I need a knight-master considering I apparently already obey the call of another bruiser with a horse.”Neal and Kel meeting their knight-masters, after Balor's Needle.





	knight-masters

**Author's Note:**

> this borrows a decent chunk of actual canon dialogue from squire, so if it seems familiar, that’s why. i tried to keep that to a minimum but eh? didn’t entirely work out. direct sequel to with you, a quick look at how well they’d handle being separated after all of that. (which is, unsurprisingly, not that great.)
> 
> anyway have, like, 3k that is basically the beginning of squire with added best friend bs. my apologies for the quality.
> 
> ....title also ganked from squire's first chapter title btw. whoops.

Neal has a book in his hands, open to an illustration of kingsfoil. He’s not reading, not really, too busy over-thinking what the next four years will be like. His father’s being mysterious about a potential knight-master visiting today and he’s not sure he’s looking forward to it.

The other three he’d met with had been fine, if not quite he was hoping for. If nothing else, one that didn’t listen to palace gossip would have been nice.

“I’m off to the practice courts,” Kel says, leaning into his room, Jump at her feet. “Want to come?”

It’s been six weeks since they climbed down Balor’s Needle and he’s still not comfortable going for very long without seeing her. He’s still not sure why he feels that way. Possibly concern that whoever tried to keep Kel from taking the exams might try something more extreme but he doesn't know for sure. He just knows that the idea of spending four years on opposite sides of Tortall isn't something he's looking forward to.

But he knows that the odds of them both getting knight-masters that are willing to accommodate some of their bizarre, newly-formed co-dependence are slim at best, so he lowers his book and pulls a face.

“I’m about to spend four years obeying the call of a bruiser on a horse. I refuse to put down what might be the last book I see for months,” Neal says, trying and failing to ignore the twitch he can see in Kel’s expression.

The last month and a half, he’s gotten better at reading her, going from being one of the handful of people who can accurately guess what she’s thinking to the one person that can read her mood like an open book. A side effect of how much extra time they’ve spent together is his guess. He knows she’s trying as much as he is to make the near-future easier on them and that for her, after spending the morning and much of the afternoon apart, asking if he’ll join her isn’t a request so much as a plea. As close as Kel gets to a plea, at least.

Another, closer look at her face decides it for him.

“I suppose I can read out in the practice courts,” he sighs, as over-dramatic as possible, and snaps the book shut before he gets up and locks his door. “I don’t know why I need a knight-master considering I apparently already obey the call of another bruiser with a horse.”

Kel’s unamused face is a thing of beauty. “I thought you wanted to be a squire.”

“I want to fulfill Queenscove’s duty to the Crown,” he says, as if she needs the reminder. She knows as well as he does that, had his brothers survived the Immortals war, Neal would still be in university and would never have met her. “A knight from our house—”

“Has served the Crown for ages, is a pillar of the kingdom, I know, I know,” Kel replies, cutting him off as usual. The smile he usually gets when she does that is missing and he slings his arm around her shoulders.

“What’s wrong? And don’t bother lying.”

“I went to the Chapel.” She tenses at the memory and he gives her a hug from the arm still around her shoulders. “I touched the door—don’t bother yelling at me, it’s over and done with.”

“Ruining my fun, aren’t you,” Neal says, but his heart isn’t in it this time. “What happened?”

“I saw—something. A vision where I was working for a desk knight.” He hisses in sympathy. Even he doesn’t want to spend the next four years cooped up in the palace doing paperwork. 

There’s more to it than just that but he lets it go. She’ll tell him at some point later if it bothers her that much. Until that time comes, the best course of action is to distract her, so when they get to the practice courts, he groans and offers to actually train with her. Her answering smile is warm and chases some of the shadows out of her eyes.

Getting hit with a practice sword wasn’t how Neal wanted to spend the rest of his afternoon, but the tightness in Kel’s shoulders loosens the longer they go and she starts responding to his terrible attempts at trash-talk so he figures it’s worth it. They run through drills they could do in their sleep before moving onto actual sparring, the clack of wooden swords echoing through the practice courts. With the pages gone to the summer training camp, the courts are unnervingly empty and the noise helps counter it.

By the time their audience makes himself known, Neal’s collected the beginnings of several spectacular bruises on his arms and legs while Kel nurses the lucky strike he managed to land on her shoulder. The applause makes them both look up to see Lord Raoul leaning against the fence.

“Kel, do you have a moment?” Raoul asks. When Kel goes to talk to him, he takes her sword and puts them both away. He picks up the book he left on the edge of the court, dusting the dirt off of it, and goes to find his father.

The knight that he’s supposed to be meeting is there when he arrives, in the middle of a discussion about healing techniques and herbs. The red hair and short stature would have been enough of an indicator of the knight’s identity; the purple eyes that glance his way are just confirmation.

“No,” Neal says before either Alanna or his father can say anything. “I can’t do this to her.” There’s no need for him to clarify who he’s talking about, judging by the way Alanna looks like she’s smelled something foul. “I _won’t_ do this to her.”

“She’s taken care of,” Alanna replies, like it’s a peace offering. “Hand to the Goddess, I swear it.”

Neal shakes his head. “I still won’t do this to her. I don’t care if she’s squiring for the king himself. And it should be _her_ learning from you,” he says, because it’s true. He knows how much Kel’s wanted Alanna for a knight-mistress, knows that if Alanna is going to break her tradition and take a squire that it should be Kel she’s teaching.

“I _can’t_ ,” Alanna bites out. “If I want her to succeed, and Goddess knows how much I do, I can’t be anywhere near her. People will say she’s magicked to succeed, that I used my gift and Goddess’s favor to help her earn her shield.”

The _I can’t be anywhere near her_ catches his attention and Neal shakes his head again. “No.” He looks at her, sees the anger in her eyes, the way her hands are clenched into fists, and sighs. “I still can’t do this to her. It’s been her dream for years and I won’t be the one to take it from her.”

He doesn’t bring up the fact that Alanna not being allowed anywhere near Kel means he wouldn’t see Kel very much, if at all. It’s not relevant since he’s not going to accept.

His father sighs, like Neal’s being unreasonable. “Alanna can help you learn to heal. She’s as good a healer as the rest of the ones here and has promised to teach you.”

It’s a dirty tactic, bringing that up. Every since the Needle, since he overextended himself healing Kel and Lalasa, Neal’s nose has been buried in books on healing. He wants to learn how to do better, to be able to heal properly without giving so much of himself to it, so he won’t exhaust himself healing rope burns and a few scratches next time, even ones as deep as Kel’s had been. The training would be welcome, but—

“I _can’t_ ,” he says, almost identical to Alanna’s outburst but fueled by frustration instead of anger. “I can’t tell her that I’m the one being trained by her hero. If it can’t be her, it can’t be me either.”

“You can’t tell her this,” Alanna begins, straight-faced and serious. “You can’t say a word of this to her. Has she ever mentioned the gifts she gets? For Midwinter and her passing each page year?” At Neal’s nod, she smiles and continues, “I’m the one sending them. I’ve been banned from contact with her since before she showed up in Corus for her probationary year. I helped in the only way I could. If I could teach her, I would, don’t doubt that. But she also doesn’t have the Gift. I’m of more value as a teacher to you than a teacher to her.”

Neal opens his mouth to argue that point—Kel’s reasons from the few times she’s mentioned that wish to him rattling around in his head—and Alanna holds a hand up.

“I never experienced the same things she did. I was disguised as a boy my entire training. I never had every man who’d thought lesser of women trying to get me to quit my training almost before it had begun,” she explains. “I’ll be of no help to her with that. But you, I can show how to use your Gift, especially for healing.”

He closes his mouth and lets himself consider it for a moment, ignoring how much he feels like a traitor for even thinking it. She can teach him to heal. There are other reasons studying under her is a good idea, he’s sure, but that’s what sticks out.

What also sticks out are Alanna’s earlier words, still playing in his mind. _I can’t be anywhere near her._ Gods willing, they’d see each other during the Progress and at the palace.

He’d known this would happen, just hadn’t expected it so soon.

“Okay, yes,” he says after another minute. Both his father and Alanna smile at him and Neal realizes he has to tell Kel. “If you’ll excuse me, Father, Lady Alanna.”

He doesn’t wait for them to reply, just starts the long walk to the squires’ quarters, his steps echoing through the empty hall. Her door is open and he hears her talking to the sparrows when Jump runs out of the room to greet him. He takes a deep breath and walks in, wringing his hands for a moment before realizing how ridiculous it looks and dropping them.

“Sit, please,” he requests. Kel obliges without a word, the concern in her face easy to read, and sets the shirt in her hands on the bed next to her. His stomach twists and he considers, for a moment, running back and telling Alanna no, he can’t, he changed his mind, she has to take Kel. It wouldn’t work, no matter how much he would want it to, so he stands in front of her and decides to tell her the truth. He won’t shy away from the fact that he’s the one living her dream. She’d see through it in a heartbeat anyway. “Lady Alanna asked me to be her squire.”

He sees the moment she processes what he’s said, the way the concern washes from her face to be replaced by her mask, the way her eyes dim in disappointment. He _hates_ it and he hates that he’s the one that had to tell her. She’s his best friend and it’s bad enough that he’s going to spend the better part of four years away from her, but admitting this feels like the worst thing he’s ever done.

Neal almost wishes the Stump had made them repeat their page years instead.

“She promised to teach me how to heal,” he says, trying to ignore how much it feels like justification. He feels selfish, trying to explain it in a way that might keep her from hating them. “She’ll give me the additional training I’ve been wanting.” His stomach’s twisted like braided bread now and he can hardly breathe for the heart in his throat. “I’m sorry. I had no idea this would happen.”

Kel’s face is blank in a way that he can’t read, but he can guess what she’s feeling right now.

“I didn’t want to take it, but Father and Alanna argued me into it,” he continues, because she has to know he didn’t want to take this from her. “I tried to tell them it should be you. That you deserved it.”

It’s only then that Neal notices the open trunk and several trinkets neatly packed away. A glance around the room shows her glaives have been moved, her lucky cats aren’t in their usual place, her clothes spread out on the bed. Lalasa’s sitting by the window, sewing up what looks like some of Kel’s clothes.

“You’re packing? You’re not leaving, are you?” He refuses to add _me_ to that sentence. He’s been selfish enough today.

Kel finally drops her mask and begins folding the shirt she’d been holding. Under the hurt that’s still there—that he hates to be the cause of—there’s something _pleased_ in her face.

“Lord Raoul asked me to be his squire,” she says. The relief that hits Neal sends him into the chair by her bed, all but collapsing, and almost shaking with it.

“Raoul? I’ll be switched,” he says, awe mixing with the relief. Alanna said she’d be looked after but he’d never expected this. “This is good. Even the conservatives who think someone’s used magic to guarantee you succeed will have trouble arguing your right to a shield after four years with him.”

“If I cared about those opinions, that would be a relief. You think he’ll be good?” Neal nods fervently.

“I almost wish _I_ could have him. He’s got to be one of the most easy-going men alive,” he replies. He quashes the envy almost as soon as it forms. He has no room to be jealous here. “Lady Alanna has a spectacular temper and a tongue as sharp as her sword.” He shudders at the thought of being on the receiving end of that temper.

“You’ll just have to get on with her,” Kel says, straight-faced. The corner of her mouth is twitching, giving away the fact that it’s a joke.

“I’ll try my best. If nothing else, she and Father are friends so she probably won’t kill me.” He pauses and adds, “hopefully. Now, why are you packing if you have such a wonderful knight-master?”

“With the King’s Own, I have to be ready to go at any time,” she explains, folding another shirt. For lack of anything better to do with his hands, Neal takes some of them to help. “My room will be next to his so he doesn’t have to run to the other side of the palace to rouse me. I don’t know how often I’ll even be here, with how often they’re on the road.”

He’d forgotten that Raoul is the commander of the King’s Own. Even _if_ Alanna sticks with the Progress, there’s no guarantee he’d see her that often. But he smiles as best he can manage and hands her the shirt he just folded.

“We’ll see each other during the Grand Progress,” he points out, but he’s not sure she’ll want to see him now. “Unless—maybe you won’t. I know you wanted Lady Alanna.”

Kel huffs a laugh but it’s weak. “Not see you? When you won’t eat vegetables without me there to nag you? I’ll bet Lady Alanna—” She pauses and he reaches out to take her hand. The smile she gives him in return is shaky but she continues talking. “I’ll bet she doesn’t care what she eats, let alone what you will. I should send Crown along to peck you as a reminder.”

Neal’s smile widens at the thought. “As if she’d be separated from you. I don’t think you’re getting rid of them.”

“I doubt even Lord Raoul will welcome fifty-odd sparrows.”

Neal moves to the bed, to the spot next to her, and lets himself lean back against her headboard. “I bet he and Lady Alanna planned this. They’re friends and she told me you were looked after. She knew what people would say if she took you as a squire.”

“That I was right to look up to her all these years? That if anyone can teach me how to be a lady knight, it would be her?” The bitterness in Kel’s voice takes him by surprise and he sits up again. Her face is back to her mask, trying to keep her emotions under control, and he pulls her into a hug, awkward as it may be with them both on the bed.

“You _are_ angry.” He’s stating the obvious but he doesn’t care.

“Not with you,” she says, pulling back and looking at him. “Never with you.” It’s a promise, even if it’s one he doesn’t feel he entirely deserves. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I feel. The vision from the Chamber—”

“What was it? There was more than just being a desk knight’s squire,” he says and Kel confirms it with a nod.

“I was here, working for Duke Gareth—the younger—and word came in of an Immortals attack on the Progress.” Neal hisses through his teeth and wants to hug her again. “All of our friends, you, even the king and queen were dead. And I wasn’t there to help you.”

“Don’t touch the door again,” he says, though he knows— _hopes—_ she knows better without his reminder. “The Chamber is a law unto itself. Nobody knows how it works. It’s killed squires, driven them mad—”

“And left plenty to become knights,” Kel says, cutting him off before he can work himself into a panic. He’s not looking forward to Kel's Ordeal, let alone his own, especially if Kel’s vision is any indication. “Like it will us.”

He tries to help her finish packing and succeeds for the most part, until they attempt to fit her weapons kit in. That’s when Lalasa chases them out, so Neal lets Kel go do whatever she has to before heading back to his room.

When Lalasa tells him the next morning about Kel leaving in the middle of the night, he’s relieved, spared of having to say goodbye in person.

His relief is short-lived, as Alanna is waiting by his door when he comes back from lunch and grinning at him.

“Time to start, squire. Lessons in healing start now.” Neal groans and follows his knight-mistress down the hall.

**Author's Note:**

> honestly if i'd gone with the original direction the plot bunny dictated, this would have ended with the medieval fantasy equivalent of that scene from the parent trap where the kids are leaving and one of them's like "call me every day" because neal's secretly a softy and worries a lot.
> 
> (also neal and kel if literally anyone asks: co-dependence what co-dependence i'm looking forward to being spared his sarcasm/her mothering)
> 
> (also kingsfoil is a nod to lord of the rings because i'm a nerd sorry)


End file.
